Lucky That I Love a Foreign Land

Up until recently, the majority of my and Tomislav's relationship was spent with us being 5,280 miles (8,497 km) apart. For the first three years, we were apart for longer than we were together.

Dating long distance is really hard. Every time you're doing something fun, you can't help but not fully enjoy yourself because you're wishing your better half was there. Every event we'd go to, we'd end up talking someone's ear off about each other.

We survived on knowing we would see each other again

Before I met Tomislav, I did not believe long distance relationships could work.. I thought, "There is too much temptation and literal distance separating us, how could someone possibly remain faithful based on phone calls and emails alone?"

But then, Tomislav. I was so crazy about him from the very beginning. Since I knew our relationship had an expiration date (his program that brought him to the States lasted only 5 months) so I was ready to live it up and spend the most time I could getting to know him. I knew things really must have been getting real when I went to visit great friends in Colorado for a week (thus our first separation) and as Tomislav drove me to the airport and I cried about not seeing him for that week! He told me later he was a little shocked that I cried, but so was I! I didn't think I'd miss him so much, but I really did. And based on the phone calls and texts I got from him all week, I know he really missed me too.

Our relationship moved quickly, he met my parents and totally impressed them with his European manners that my parents could totally relate to.

He was the one.

So in the months that followed, when we weren't physically together, it was an extremely difficult time for the both of us. We both constantly felt like there was a piece of us missing and we were just waiting to start real life. We were just going through the motions until we could be together again.

 Putting my arm around the heart shape on the side of the pyramid in Giza, where T should have been

T putting his arm around where I should have been

An ocean, our jobs, and an inconvenient time difference made it difficult for us to find time to Skype. Sometimes the only time we could hear each others voices was when I was commuting home from work in the horrible rush hour traffic on 95. I would be cursing at cars mid-chat with T and this was the only time we had! Later I'd feel so bad we didn't get to really talk but at that point he'd already be fast asleep.

We wrote so many emails. So. Many. Emails. I would check my email every couple of minutes because we would constantly be sending each other messages, about everything. It's all we could do, just talk, communicate, tell each other what's going on in our worlds, send songs and love notes...

Long distance relationships make you think of more romantic things to do. For Tomislav's 25th birthday, I planned to send him a card everyday for 25 days before his birthday. So first I had to start like 2 months early to make sure they'd arrive on time. I sent one everyday but then when he finally started to receive the cards in the mail, he'd get like 3 in one day! That wasn't the point, my hope was that everyday he'd feel a little joy from me when he got the mail. He could smell my perfume on the card each day. So I started to mail them out every couple of days so they would arrive almost everyday for him. He was always surprised to see another one! I was at the post office all the time and it really was lovely for both of us. It made us both feel more connected. And who doesn't love getting mail?

It's hard for others to understand what it's really like for those who are in a long distance relationship, unless they've been in one themselves. It's hard for people in the LDR to explain their feelings to others. It's just so hard because you don't feel totally like yourself. And if someone is willing to listen, it's easy to get carried away and talk about your far-away-love until the listener is totally over it. But for those in an LDR it's always a countdown until the next time you'll see each other.

When I got back to Zagreb last year in October, T picked me up from the airport and when I walked back into our apartment, he put up all of the cards I ever sent him all over our place. It was amazing and beautiful and fun to look back on everything!

Now we are together and although I'm now missing my family and friends, being with T finally gives my heart the peace that it needs, being with it's other half. Being so shnuggly, being perfect for one another. You can't have it all but I'm so happy to be with him now.

It's not easy, but if you feel like the person you're dating is really special, especially if you feel like you love them from the very first time you meet, you can make it work. If they are worth it, then it is worth it! If you're in a long distance relationship and you need someone to talk to, feel free to write to me. I'm always willing to lend a listening ear since I know how you may feel!