Shopping Anxiety

I have extreme shopping anxiety. It's a fact. Shopping is really difficult for me sometimes. If I'm in the mood for it, it can be a fun experience but most of the time, I absolutely dread it. Spending money stresses me out, shopping trips need to be carefully planned and sometimes even the slightest thing can pull me right out of the mood and after 5 minutes in the first store, I turn around and go home. I think about an item for a long time before I buy it, maybe even go to the store 3 times to check it, sleep on it, and eventually decide to buy it. Still after I buy it, I try it on, reconsider whether to return it and whether it was truly a good buy.

Nothing is better to me than scoring a great bargain and my Mom has definitely taught me the best ways to find a good deal but I still have to say, I relate more to my Dad because of my shopping habits. My Mom is so stylish and she knows all the trends way before I do, especially because she works in a store. She helps me a lot (unknowingly) to curb my shopping anxiety by buying me clothes that are super cute (and most of the time on super sale!). I'm really lucky because it's so hard for me to go shopping. If I'm not feeling it, I really can't force myself. Having a fiance who likes fashion and loves to shop does not help with my anxiety but I totally think T and my Mom should go shopping together sometime.  

 

I have only met one person in the world so far who seems to have similar shopping habits and it felt amazing to hear his experiences that were similar to mine. I don't think he knows how groundbreaking it was for me to hear about what his shopping trips were like and how much it's stuck with me ever since! 

Last weekend, we got psyched up to go shopping at the Palmanova Outlets between Trieste and Venice, Italy. When I saw that Venice was only 100 km further, I was like, forget shopping! Let's go to Venice for the day! I didn't realize Venezia was so much closer with the car (rather than the train which is how we got there a couple years ago). But alas, we had shopping to do. We're looking for T's outfit for our wedding and I'm happy to say that I behaved myself pretty well. I almost had one breakdown while there but an espresso and gelato break helped with that and we continued shopping throughout the evening.

Espresso always reminds me of my old coworker, David, who is Italian and taught me the importance of good coffee and how espresso is absolutely required after lunch!

 

You KNOW things must have been going well if I was trying on feathered dresses for fun ;)

 

Tomislav found this cutie scarf and showed off his American pride!

Do any of you out there have shopping anxiety? Any tips for me? My idea was that if things got really tough shopping and I wasn't able to go on, to stop and have a glass of wine to help me carry on!

Lucky That I Love a Foreign Land

Up until recently, the majority of my and Tomislav's relationship was spent with us being 5,280 miles (8,497 km) apart. For the first three years, we were apart for longer than we were together.

Dating long distance is really hard. Every time you're doing something fun, you can't help but not fully enjoy yourself because you're wishing your better half was there. Every event we'd go to, we'd end up talking someone's ear off about each other.

We survived on knowing we would see each other again

Before I met Tomislav, I did not believe long distance relationships could work.. I thought, "There is too much temptation and literal distance separating us, how could someone possibly remain faithful based on phone calls and emails alone?"

But then, Tomislav. I was so crazy about him from the very beginning. Since I knew our relationship had an expiration date (his program that brought him to the States lasted only 5 months) so I was ready to live it up and spend the most time I could getting to know him. I knew things really must have been getting real when I went to visit great friends in Colorado for a week (thus our first separation) and as Tomislav drove me to the airport and I cried about not seeing him for that week! He told me later he was a little shocked that I cried, but so was I! I didn't think I'd miss him so much, but I really did. And based on the phone calls and texts I got from him all week, I know he really missed me too.

Our relationship moved quickly, he met my parents and totally impressed them with his European manners that my parents could totally relate to.

He was the one.

So in the months that followed, when we weren't physically together, it was an extremely difficult time for the both of us. We both constantly felt like there was a piece of us missing and we were just waiting to start real life. We were just going through the motions until we could be together again.

 Putting my arm around the heart shape on the side of the pyramid in Giza, where T should have been

T putting his arm around where I should have been

An ocean, our jobs, and an inconvenient time difference made it difficult for us to find time to Skype. Sometimes the only time we could hear each others voices was when I was commuting home from work in the horrible rush hour traffic on 95. I would be cursing at cars mid-chat with T and this was the only time we had! Later I'd feel so bad we didn't get to really talk but at that point he'd already be fast asleep.

We wrote so many emails. So. Many. Emails. I would check my email every couple of minutes because we would constantly be sending each other messages, about everything. It's all we could do, just talk, communicate, tell each other what's going on in our worlds, send songs and love notes...

Long distance relationships make you think of more romantic things to do. For Tomislav's 25th birthday, I planned to send him a card everyday for 25 days before his birthday. So first I had to start like 2 months early to make sure they'd arrive on time. I sent one everyday but then when he finally started to receive the cards in the mail, he'd get like 3 in one day! That wasn't the point, my hope was that everyday he'd feel a little joy from me when he got the mail. He could smell my perfume on the card each day. So I started to mail them out every couple of days so they would arrive almost everyday for him. He was always surprised to see another one! I was at the post office all the time and it really was lovely for both of us. It made us both feel more connected. And who doesn't love getting mail?

It's hard for others to understand what it's really like for those who are in a long distance relationship, unless they've been in one themselves. It's hard for people in the LDR to explain their feelings to others. It's just so hard because you don't feel totally like yourself. And if someone is willing to listen, it's easy to get carried away and talk about your far-away-love until the listener is totally over it. But for those in an LDR it's always a countdown until the next time you'll see each other.

When I got back to Zagreb last year in October, T picked me up from the airport and when I walked back into our apartment, he put up all of the cards I ever sent him all over our place. It was amazing and beautiful and fun to look back on everything!

Now we are together and although I'm now missing my family and friends, being with T finally gives my heart the peace that it needs, being with it's other half. Being so shnuggly, being perfect for one another. You can't have it all but I'm so happy to be with him now.

It's not easy, but if you feel like the person you're dating is really special, especially if you feel like you love them from the very first time you meet, you can make it work. If they are worth it, then it is worth it! If you're in a long distance relationship and you need someone to talk to, feel free to write to me. I'm always willing to lend a listening ear since I know how you may feel!

3 Beers, Never 4

Hangover girl, hangover girl, hangover girl. Ok, you can all stop pointing and laughing at me. I'm hangover girl.

Anyway, I totally need to learn my lesson to stop at 3 drinks. I don't drink a lot anymore so I'm totally not used to it and I keep thinking I can handle it but then somehow I still end up getting carried home by T who has to listen to me try to convince him, "I'm fine!". But I had an absolutely fabulous time last night going out to this cool music venue/bar Sax with T-Slav's coworkers, hearing not one but two great bands play covers of all types of songs, everything from Whitesnake to Queen. The headliners are called Živa legenda and wow they can put on a show! Great band, awesome performers, and I love a singer who can switch languages so smoothly and without any noticeable accent at all! We were rocking out and then when the bands stopped and we were left with the records, oh boy did we keep the party going! See below:

This was awesome :) They are awesome
(Also, you can hear T's AMAZING laugh around the 9 and 31 second mark!)

We met a couple of cool New Zealanders last night and I'm not sure if I should blame my being buzzed for not being able to understand what they were saying or whether I just really couldn't follow their accents!

Another one of my favorite moments of the night was me screaming Dream of Home Tonight ;)

Language Learning

"Nikki, daj nam malo na Hrvatskom!"

Tomislav's Dad can be heard saying that (probably) at the end of our House Hunters International episode (12 more days til it airs!), meaning, "Nikki, say something in Croatia" or quite literally - give us a little in Croatian!

I have always loved learning foreign languages. It's something I'm good at, it's something I love- speaking to people in their native tongue is so rewarding. I grew up with Polish (Dziękuję Mamusia i Tatuś!) and English (thanks Dee Dee!) which caused me to think as a child that everyone spoke Polish at home and that everyone's parents were learning English. I was so surprised when I'd go to American friends' houses and they were eating Pop-Tarts and chatting away without accents. Anyway, apparently I wasn't always such a language fiend! In elementary school, I went through a period where I didn't want to speak Polish at all. I forgot everything so by the time summer rolled around and we went to visit our family in Poland, I couldn't understand anything or anyone. It was so frustrating that upon returning to the States, I vowed to only speak Polish to my parents. Somehow, I don't remember any of this but everyone else does! Anyway, I love my culture and I'm so thankful to have grown up with such a strong global awareness through my family.

The first language I learned (by choice) was German. In middle school, we had those 9 weeks of German and 9 weeks of Spanish and German spoke to me right away. My parents lived in Berlin in the early 1980s and my sister was even born there! I felt a connection to Germany right away and in high school I was lucky  enough to have the greatest German teacher ever! She made language learning so fun and there are so many classmates I know who have also become German teachers after having her in high school. Frau Young - you are so loved! Anyway, I already knew I loved traveling and I wanted to go abroad but as a 10th grader, I didn't have the money for it (despite my sweet telemarketing gig. What up KLM!) I applied for the CBYX Scholarship, convinced my parents to let me, a 15 year old go to a foreign country to live with an unknown family for a full year. (Looking back, I can't believe my Mom actually let me go! I know she didn't want me to but I'm so thankful my Dad was especially supportive!) It was challenging but really changed my life in so many ways. I met so many wonderful people and I'm so thankful that my host family really became like a real family to me and they'll be coming to our wedding this summer!

Arabic came next after returning to the States after my year abroad. I was so inspired by a special friend in high school to learn more about the Middle East and Arabic just seemed so beautiful and interesting to me. When I was thinking about college, I knew I wanted to go somewhere that had an Arabic program. I got really distracted studying Arabic in Philly so I figured it'd be best that I immerse myself in the language and culture so I applied for the Arabic Language Institute in Cairo so I could learn more! My time in Cairo was amazing with wonderful friends who were happy to have me practice my Arabic with them (and a couple of extra special professors!). 


I met Tomislav back in June 2008 when the only things I knew about Croatia was the fact that one of my friends from high school's girlfriend's was Croatian! I remembered how his away messages on AIM (yeah...remember?) always said "Volim te!" To be honest, I didn't even know what the capital of Croatia was back then (I don't think I ever would have imagined that I'd be living here back then!). Anyway, the manager at Valanni told me he hired a Croatian guy so when I met Tomislav, the very first thing I said to him was, "You're Croatian, right? Volim te!" He looked at me kind of stunned and started saying something in Croatian and I quickly jumped in, "No, no! That's the only thing I know! I'm actually Polish." This was the start to my learning the Croatian language. By the way - Volim te means...I love you! Imagine that, the first thing I ever said to him! I told you, it was love at first sight ;)


Moj Hrvatski is coming along. I'm by NO means fluent but I can talk to most anyone, especially Tomislav's family since I'm so used to chatting with them and they understand the way I talk (with plenty of hand motions and lots of explaining, "To je..kao mljeko ali ne mljeko..." Working in an environment where I am around English everyday doesn't help my Croatian but luckily a new friend inspired me to speak more Croatian lately. She is an American living in Zagreb with her boyfriend and she had this genius idea to try to speak only in Croatian while she's at home for one week! (See her blog here) One day when Tomislav came home, I gave it a try and we made it 90 minutes without English. It was a fun challenge! 


For me, the best way to learn a foreign language is total immersion. I found that to be true when I learned German, practicing Polish is always better when I'm around Polish people, or better yet - in Poland! And I NEEDED to go to Egypt to learn Arabic, it wasn't happening for me in my 3 hours a week classes in Philly. I practice this with my students now. While we're in the classroom, students are only allowed to speak in the target language and of course, I only speak to them in the foreign language. Now with Croatian, I need to practice more, that's all there is to it. When my family and friends come to Croatia in a couple of short months for our wedding, I'll be ready to interpret and translate away for everyone so we can all communicate with one another. I expect a lot of hand gestures and hugging but I'm sure we'll all be able to understand each other, one way or another!

Thanks to these two I knew how to say "Volim te!" 

This picture is from last summer while they were visiting Croatia!

 

Waiting For Me When I Got Home:

How did I get so lucky to find a man who is thoughtful and understanding, will rescue me when my shoes are hurting me too much to drive me home, who surprises me with endless kindness and patience and makes me feel so loved every day? Seriously thank you to the ex-manager who hired him back at Valanni, I am way too lucky and I would move anywhere in the world to be with him.

Also many thanks to the amazing piece of advice I read over at the fabulous blog Sometimes Sweet, "Don't marry a man unless you would be proud to have a son exactly like him."

As wedding stresses threaten to get the best of me, I'm thankful for T being the greatest guy absolutely ever and reminding me to relax, sometimes take the night off if I need it, and letting me know that everything's gonna be alright.

They Say it's your Birthday...We're Gonna Have a Good Time!

Saturday was Tomislav's Birthday! Unfortunately, I've been sick as a dog the past few days and it's been really awful but it was still wonderful to be with Tomislav on his birthday.  I wish I could have celebrated it a bit more but we'll just have to celebrate it some more later. He's the absolute greatest, happy birthday babe :)

 Our great friend Ivana (see below, in the middle!) made this AWESOME cake for Tomislav! It was soooooooo nice of her and was so beautiful! It even had a (more enhanced ;)) version of me popping out of the cake! Thank you Ivana!

 Sarah, Ivana, and red-nosed me :)

 

 The cake :) Complete with clovers and everything!

 My St. Patrick's Day baby cutting his cake :)

I think they like it!

 

Onto other birthday news, I am so excited to say welcome baby Filip to the world!!!! I am so proud and excited because Tomislav's wonderful cousin, Dubravka and her husband Nikola welcomed their beautiful baby boy this morning. The whole family is doing great and I couldn't be happier for the new addition to the family. I like to consider myself Teta Nikki already :)

So for Tomislav and baby Filip, this one is for you!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I'm so happy to be celebrating my first Valentine's Day (in person!) with Tomislav today! It's also my first Valentine's Day in Croatia. Although it may not be as popular here as it is in the States, I've definitely been feeling the love at school. The students have all been so sweet and I've gotten so many beautiful (homemade!) Valentine's Cards!

Here are a few of them:

 My 3rd graders are so sweet! One of these cards was not from a student, but was actually inspired by this blogpost!

 <3

 This one is from a day we were making them in class last week. There was glitter glue all over the room!

 

 So creative!

 Makes me so happy :)

How awesome and unique is this card?! From my super creative sister and her husband <3

I hope you all have a wonderful day, whether you're celebrating Valentine's Day or not, I'm sending you all a lot of love! if you didn't get any Valentine's Cards and you're feeling lonely or blue, leave me a comment and I'll send you something ;)

What I Want, You've Got

I always wanted someone to pick me up from work.

Back during my sophomore year of college, when I was working as a hostess at Valanni, I would trek back up to North Philly on the BSL late at night after my shifts ended. I daydreamed about what it would be like to have a boyfriend who would pick me up from work so I couldn't have to go home alone on the stanky subway. 4 years later, my amazing fiance, who I met at Valanni, wakes up early to drive me to work in the morning and almost every day rearranges his schedule so he can come pick me up from work too.

Things are very different now, because we're in Zagreb, not Philly. But even back then, he would do little things that would really make my day. When I would drive to work in Old City, he would run out of his own job to put quarters in my meter (back when there were still meters in Old City!).

It is so sweet of him to drive me, especially during these snowy, freezing cold days, I'm so thankful for him and so happy he is so thoughtful to me. It's things like this that separates Tomislav from the rest of the men in the world! He is wonderful and that's why I don't mind making delicious meals and baking yummy treats for him all the time.

 A little trip down memory lane - one of the first nights Tomislav and I went out after we first met. Tomislav is to the right of me, with Lovro to the left of him! Of course, Peter is right next to me and Kendall is also in this picture!

I feel like we look so young here! Our first trip to NYC together :) 

 One of those nights where I went to Tomislav's apartment after work. I can tell because I'm wearing black and I wore so much black back in the Valanni days!

Together at Philly Fish Co. (Now BBQ Tequila's) where T also worked! We had so many great summer nights there.

This was in March, 2010. We went back to Valanni, where it all began, to have dinner at our favorite table. Tomislav could still recite everything that was on the Medi-Latin plate! What a good food runner he was ;)

Listen Closely Hear the Music Playing, Let it Take You to Places Far Away

Nothing takes you back to a certain place or time like music does. Scents come in at a close second but hearing even the first few chords of a song can take you right back to that exact point in your life. Just as a I feel like I am a citizen of the world, I am a fan of all types of music.

Recently, I remembered an old password for an old YouTube account and had a blast looking back at my "Favorites" from 2008. Although that might not be that long ago, it is the year that I met Tomislav, the summer that he arrived in Philadelphia, when I worked at Continental and had an ex-manager playing me romantic songs over the phone to the hostess stand. (Like Landon Pigg - Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop)

Hearing Built to Spill - Big Dipper will forever remind me of Germantown and Sean and Jimmy's (much better in my opinion) version of the song!

When I think about Brand New, I'm reminded of riding my bike through Gütersloh, Germany. Back when I had basically, fogotten how to ride a bike, crashed several times along my (at least) 5km one-way route to school. I used to switch over to "Jude Law and a Semester Abroad" once I got to the point which I called the "homestrech" of my journey. Tom Petty's "American Girl" is another one that brings me back to those bike rides.

I have made, cultivated, and sustained several amazing friendships thanks to a little song called "Cute Without the 'E' (Cut from the Team)" by Taking Back Sunday. It takes you right back to high school, college, Kentucky Derby parties etc.

Exhibit 1: A Friendship in the Making

Another great one that was favorited on my old YouTube account was Pitbull ft. Trina: Go Girl. Remember that one? It starts like..
I party like a Rock Star
Look like a Movie Star
Play like an All Star...

Then goes on to talk about someone being on his top 8 because he met her on MySpace. Love it ;)

There are so many more songs I could write about but these few that were on this old YouTube profile really surprised me and brought me back. I highly recommend you try to login with an old e-mail address and see what you were listening to back then.

What songs bring you back to a special time in your life?

"Wedding Planning" Winter Wonderland Weekend!

It's been freezing cold as of late in Zagreb but now that it's been steadily snowing since yesterday, I don't mind the cold so much anymore! It's fun to play in the snow and it looks so pretty (before it gets all mushy/dirty/city looking!).

It made our weekend plans change a bit but we're loving it!

Nikki's Pseudo-Narcolepsy

Things have been going pretty well for me lately. I've been working at the school and I'm liking it a lot so far. I just got contacted about teaching some foreign language classes at night so the possibility of that is very exciting! It's good to be busy. Last night, I decided I wanted to join my co-workers for an English-language show at a comedy club. I wanted to get to know some of my colleagues better and I thought it would be a fun experience no matter what! Well, it was great to see my co-workers outside of the school and to relax but apparently I got a little too relaxed.

I fell asleep.

Not because it wasn't funny, because it was! I was hoping to hear a bit more but maybe I'm still a little jet lagged, I only got back one week ago and I started work right away, then we were filming HHI and I haven't really had a break but halfway through the main act, I fell fast asleep! I didn't think the show would go on that long and I ended up waking up just at the end of the comedian's set, embarrassed, confused, and surrounded by people laughing at me. Apparently, the comedian took the opportunity of me sleeping to add a joke to his act! One of my colleagues who was sitting right in front of me (who also has an early bedtime, like me) was snoozing away in the 2nd row. The comedian saw that and made some comments about how he can't believe she's sleeping during the show. She woke up right away and that's when he noticed that I was dozing in the 3rd row! He was like, well look at that, another one's asleep. But I was totally in slumberland because Tomislav tried to wake me up and I just kept on sleeping! The comedian kept making jokes like, are we sure she's still alive? After the show, some people came up to me and said it was the funniest part of the show! My one co-worker said it almost seemed like I was supposed to be a part of his act all along.

Needless to say, great impression was made on my colleagues (not.) and the news of my comedy club snooze was all over the school today. It was embarrassing but it got my name around the school quickly so everyone started making fun of me, looking shocked that I was awake upon entering the classroom I was in. Asking me if I'm well rested, or if I'm gonna fall asleep and stuff like that. It was all in good fun and I couldn't help but think about some of my other memorable sleeping-in-weird-loud-places moments. Yikes, there have been a few!

• I slept through a loud, crazy, wild party at Cassie's place in Cairo on the couch of the living room where everyone was partying, dancing, playing music- everything you can imagine at a fun party! Snoring on the couch while everyone's partying around me. Lovely, at least could sort of be a part of it all still ;)
• My most expensive nap was probably the time I fell asleep at a Bob Dylan concert in Philadelphia. I was with my 2 favorite redheads in the entire world and we indulged in some wine before the show and I got my tipsy nap on during most of the show. Great background music for some shuteye.
• The first time I was in Croatia back around NYE 2008/2009, I wanted to try a Croatian beer which shares a name with my beloved fiance. It's called Tomislav* and it's a very dark beer, delicious and very rich. I liked it a lot and so I decided to have a 2nd one. Little did I know how strong the beer actually was. I got super tipsy and tipsy-sleepy almost immediately so my Tomislav knew that it was time to take me home! We didn't have a car then so we had to wait for a night tram which sometimes takes forever if you just missed one and it's super-late-night. So we're standing on the Main Square in Zagreb. Wait, well, I guess we're not exactly standing, Tomislav is standing and I'm sleeping on him. Maybe Tomislav had to sit or kneel or bed somehow because I was nodding off against him. He had to basically carry me into the tram and let me sleep on him the whole way back to his parents' place (which is the very last tram stop!). 

*Here's a little known fact: If you google "Tomislav pivo" which means Tomislav beer in Croatian, a picture of us comes up in the image search. I've tried to get it down but I guess it's impossible. Anyway, I'm owning up to it right now so google away (or you can click the link I just posted).

If you've got any good stories or memories of you or someone you once saw (probably me) sleeping somewhere weird, please share!

Yes, Deer!

 

One of the best things about being in Zagreb is that it's so close to many other countries so you can make a weekend trip, or even a day trip very easily! We went with our friends, on Sunday, to two towns in Slovenia: Olimje and Celje. At first, I was a bit apprehensive about how fun and exciting this trip would really be. Tomislav and Lovro had visited Olimje last year and talked about feeding deer and to be quite honest, I wasn't impressed. I mean, I grew up in the Poconos, PA...basically the deer capital of the world. I had no idea how awesome it would actually be! So first we visited this "Witch's Hut" which is an interactive playhouse made completely of recycled materials.

 An optimistic friend greeting us at the Witch's Hut

It's Pippi Longstocking! My favorite girl from Villa Villekulla (aka Villa Kunterbunt auf Deutsch!)

 T-Slav playing "the bells" for us!

This isn't the actual witch, it's Maja :D

In the town of Olimje, it's really neat because this seemingly tiny village has a lot of beautiful and interesting things to see, all within 2 minutes of each other!

There is a beautiful church and monastery.

 

This is inside the church, and Maja

 Big beautiful goldfish were swimming outside the monastery (and Nemo type fish too!), plus the reflection of the monastery looks awesome in the water

 Me explaining stuff about the monastery, in Croatian. Oh yeah, very accurate indeed. Not sure if we were supposed to actually be in that part of the monastery, oh well! Was very cool!

 Such a beautiful view of the town at our next stop of the trip, home of the deer!

 They were so sweet! We got corn to feed the deer and although some of the Bambi baby types were scared, the big guys were hungry and happy to eat right out of our hands. So sweet!

 Maja feeding the deer

 Here's Lovro 

 Here is Jan

 Here is T-Slav feeding the cutie deer

 As the day went on, it got rather chilly so feeding the deer was a great way to warm up my hands too ;)

Beautiful animals!

 Had to take a gluehwein/kuhano vino/hot mulled wine break :)

 One of my favorite things about winter in Europe is that people continue to use outdoor seating at cafes, bars, and restaurants. The cafes often provide those standing heaters (or better yet, feet heaters!), and what's even cozier, are the soft warm blankets!

Next up, we made our way to Celje, which is actually the 3rd largest city in Slovenia. Unfortunately, on Sunday afternoon, we didn't quite get the impression that this was a large city because by 5pm it was very dark and there were so few people out.

 There were a few lit up decorations though :)

 Maja rode home with this nice Celje man on his bicycle :)